If all women think that they have to offer is their body and their sexuality, that is oppression. And that is the complete opposite, I think of what feminism at least originally was seeking to promote. Now, I know you asked me a question, and I think I took us way off the path, so I forget what the question was again. So basically, I was just looking for your thoughts on that tax message. And, yes, you know, whether whether these comments of him being disgusting and abusive and so on and so forth are warranted within that context. Right. So that's the whole projection. Yes. So so people who, let's say, have a a dim or, you know, a negative impression of men see this as he's being misogynistic, abusive and so on. And people who have that type of impression probably, unfortunately, have a history of being abused, whether it's by, you know, current partners or whether by, you know, a family member or whatever the case may be or peers when they were younger. So, yes, they all assume it must be this. And and what people have to do that's going back to the you know, being humble, they okay. Is recognizing our personal biases. We can't help it. And there's a term called schema and or schemata for plural and there's also scripts. The idea is and this is so important for people to understand, I do this in class all the time. I show students experientially. I say we can't help it. So if I say Dog right now, as soon as I say dog, every person who hears that unconsciously they have no control, suddenly they're whole bunch of neural networks and you know, they might see a dog, they might think golden retriever or poodle, whatever. They have thoughts around that. You know, if they love dogs, they might feel good hearing the word dog. If they had a bad experience, it might have a, you know, a reflexive physiological response. That's all schema. So basically, it's what we think of things, you know, how even you know, without control. So as soon as someone says, you know, like boundaries or as soon as he says, you know, like don't put your pictures online, whatever the case may be, everyone who saw that unconsciously automatically had a whole bunch of schemata. Networks lit up. Right. And and they saw it through those through their own subjective, idiosyncratic lens. And they made all these assumptions. And again, all of us, you meet everybody else. We had the initial reaction and I knew what I thought initially, but then I stopped as a critical thinker. I want to look at all the evidence. I want to get all sides, you know, like again, for example, for some people, their first response was or the first reaction was, how dare she post all this stuff publicly? These are private messages, right? So they only look at that. And and I said, look, quite frankly, I was honest. I you know, from from the first time I saw Jonah Hill, you know, or not for the first time, I like him in Superbad. But then after that, in a bunch of movies, I thought he was really, really funny. But my personal, completely biased, completely subjective. I didn't analyze them. I've never spoken to him, but I had certain impressions of him and they were negative. So I you know, I just you know, I could believe that he could be certain things. That was my bias. Again, I'm humble enough to know that that's my first reaction, but I don't act on it. I contain it. I go, okay, that's my bias. Let me try everything. My power to look at the opposite of that. What would be the evidence or is there evidence that he's not acting this way or he's not manifesting these traits that I imagined him to have? And then the other bias that I have is and people might not like to hear it, but this is a fact. And you even talked about in that movie that he did with his psychiatrist, with Stutz, I think, or else. Okay. And, you know, this is such a cliche, but the fact is and I remember how much you said in the documentary or in the movie, because I saw a little while ago. But, you know, he was a fat kid. And if and I say this to people all the time, it's such a cliche, but if you see somebody present, whether male or female, and let's say they're fit, they're successful, they're very attractive, they have everything right, but they don't act in line with what our biases tell us. We think that they should be acting right. Attractive people we know, you know, they get special treatment consideration. They're seen a different way. And they often have a certain manner about them. And if you see someone who in the present does not act in that way, in almost every single case, there's something about, if not every case, there's something about their history that they didn't see themselves in that light. And in many cases it was that they were, you know, that they overweight as a child because I don't care what happens as an adult. If as a kid you are picked on, teased, bullied, whether by your peers or you're looked at differently by your teachers or your parents shamed you, right? You carry that. So no matter what happens on the outside, no matter how much success you attain as an adult, if you haven't addressed those longstanding childhood, whether it's traumas or adverse events, they are still running in the background. Those are you know, those are schema that are affecting everything that you do. So I thought Jonah Hill as a quote unquote a fat kid and he'd been you know, he's been very public about his weight, not just as a kid, but, you know, as an adult up and down. I could see him as being insecure. I could see him as, you know, you know, being if he's with a woman or being afraid that somebody else is going to take her and so on. Maybe that happened when he was younger, I don't know. So again, I knew that those biases were in the back of my mind. And I said, Well, I recognize them, but I'm not gonna let those, you know, dictate how I perceive this. I know that they're there now. I'm going to look for other information and absorb as much as I can to get a better picture of all of this. And 99.99 to the end to the last 9% of people did not do any of what I'm describing now. They just went with their gut. They projected their own experiences cetera onto this and once again, it was a blood test. So I think I might have answered the question somewhere there. Yeah, and I, I agree. And I will say I took it I looked at it through a similar lens. And I other than a couple of movies here and there, I didn't know much about the guy or his history. I did watch that movie with his psychiatrist, but I would say that's the extent of my knowledge of him. So I can certainly see, you know, where those boundaries arose from. But I take issue with two things as far as the response is that there so there is a show that I was watching and it was a group of women discussing it and they kind of removed the focus from Jonah Hill specifically, and we're talking about raising their daughters. And they said, you know, this is a learning experience for our daughters that if any man ever speaks to them this way, that's a red flag and they should run away. I really kind of paused when I was listening to this because, again, looking at this through the lens of a therapist, this text message in and of itself, without bringing in any of, you know, anyone's own baggage or anyone's own opinion of Jonah Hill in and of itself, this this seems like a pretty healthy boundary that he set and a pretty healthy expectation. But for these women to to go so far as to call this abusive, first of all, I can see where they're inserting their own biases, for sure. But what message are we sending to women and men, frankly, that they're not entitled to have standards and boundaries? Right. And this we talked I think you said earlier, we've never talked about it before, but it's a weaponization of psychology. They were saying that that he's using this nice language. So basically what psychology taught him because they were going to couples therapy, how dare he take what he learned from the therapist and to turn it around and to weaponize it. So boundaries, which are a good thing. He wasn't setting boundaries. He's using the word boundary to mask his, you know, his his control and his abuse. Right. And then they said, Aha. And that's evidence that he's abusive because he did that, which is crazy. It's so unfair. Yes. Now, but here's the thing. Would an abusive person say what he said? Yes. But just because an abusive person would say it does not mean that all people who say it are abusive. Do abusive people eat Cheerios? Yes. But if you eat cheerios it doesn't mean you're abusive. That's a logical fallacy. And that's what so many people did. And they started psychoanalyzing him. And he must have been like this therapy. And again, once again, what they were saying, that he's weaponizing therapy. And by the way, so many people commented and said the way he described it, he said he was so polite and respectful right. And saying, as you say, that you read it out. And look, if these boundaries don't work for you, that I'm not the man for you or I'm not the person for you. And I know all the best of a great life and everything. And again, so many people are opining with their great knowledge, of course, completely devoid of any humility. One second, please. Right. That again, all of this is a ruse. Of course, he's trying to sound nice. He's gaslighting her. He's trying to make it seem like he's the good guy and so no matter what he does and you and I have talked about this with Wokeism and so on, and my saying that only woke people did this because people from all over the spectrum misinterpreted it. But the point is that anything good that he might have said or done, instead of saying, well, you know, maybe we might have to take that into consideration and maybe that means there's more to the story. They were all they were assuming that everything he said or did was aside in It was it was evidencem sorry, sorry, is proof he's a bad guy. Right. It's just ridiculous. And by the way, once again, for all we know, he could be terrible. And I know a whole bunch of more messages were released. Okay, she showed a history and certain stuff. Like I can see him playing the victim at certain times and everything like that. Like none. Neither person is perfect. But this was like the Johnny Depp, Amber and Amber. Her trial, which garnered so much attention, there were no good guys in that. If anyone thought that either of them conducted themselves properly, then I don't know what you're watching. Okay. Johnny Depp? Yes. Was he a victim of abuse? Yes, he was. Was he sometimes abusive toward her verbally and so on or psychologically? Maybe it seems like it to some degree to people recording all the time. Not healthy. Right. But people didn't see that. So many people some people did, but most people saw it just through one lens or the other, this black or white thinking. And we know that black and white thinking is one of the worst and the most common cognitive distortions. Absolutey, yeah, so I want to drill down a little bit more as far as, you know, outside of the specifics of their relationship, the message that this is sending to people who are seeking out relationships right now, young males and females who are, you know, looking to the media for examples of, you know, how to conduct themselves. So I want to talk a lot more about standards and boundaries within the context of, you know, the modern woman and I may be focusing a little bit on heterosexual relationships, but I think that this can apply across the board. It seems that I'm choosing my words carefully, as I often do. It seems that the the take on this from the modern feminist is women should be able to do what they want, conduct themselves as they want on the internet without consequence. And any man who takes issue with it is an abusive A-hole, basically. And as a woman and as a mother of a young man, I really, really take issue with that from from both sides, because men should have standards, period. I don't think that there's anything wrong with that. And those standards should be articulated and set out from the onset of the relationship. But there's a real issue with this this liberation and this hypersexualization of women on the Internet and thinking that that's okay. What are your thoughts on that? So for people who don't know my catchphrase is“I was raised in a sex store”. My mother opened up Ontario's first sex store and one of Canada's first sex stores, Lovecraft, in 1972, January 1972, with her female business partner. I, you know, my mother, for all her flaws, I use her as a role model for my three daughters. And so, again, I've taught human sexuality for over 20 years about 100 times. So I am the last person who's going to can be considered prudish, overly conservative or anything like that. So what I'm because you and I come from very different backgrounds, yet standards are standards and let's say, let's say liberation, sorry, supposed ostensible liberation, which is really something else is going to be harmful if you're doing something thinking, it means one thing. But in reality we know that it could mean something else or can have an impact and so on. Okay, It doesn't matter where you're coming from. Truth is truth. Truth of the capital T facts are facts. So what do I think about that? You know, again, the reason I'm saying this all is that this this preamble is that what I'm about to say is what you're going to hear from right wing conservative commentators. Right. And anyone knows me knows I am not conservative. I may be fiscally conservative, but liberally I am more so or sorry, socially sorry I am more liberal than almost anybody you're going to meet. Yeah, So? So. But again, I've seen the damage. And so what I think about it, I think that I'm all for female empowerment, whether it's personal, interpersonal, social, sexual right for true empowerment. I'm going to say a few things that maybe sound a bit raunchy, but it's still important. Okay. And I say whether it's pornographers, whether it's feminists. All right. That one of the greatest lies that they have taught young women is what you described is being hyper or overly sexualized is empowering. It is not empowering. Now, for some people it is okay. There are some women who and I know them well enough where I can say, yeah, you truly are sexually empowered. You know what you want. You're getting it. You're doing it in a healthy manner. It's rewarding, is fulfilling, it's enjoyable. It doesn't come at a cost or whatever cost is. It's a it's a cost that any other person would experience by the benefits far outweigh the cost. And if you truly are empowered, then great, pardon the pun, but all the power to you. I'm happy for that. But far, far, far more people have thought they were empowered and they come to look later on, years later, to say, What the hell was I thinking? And I'm going to give the example I've given. And again, I want to be too crude. I'll be mindful of my words here, but let's just say I have had very many young women and by the way, I should just say a couple of things. One, not just through therapy, not just through having taught thousands of many, many, many thousands of students of all ages just what people know. I, um, my program has not just university students, but people of all ages, professionals returning and so on. And and every term I have students write a reflection paper. So I've read, I don't know, over 10,000 reflection papers. So I have got more data than most people yet in addition to all my interactions in therapy and outside. Okay, so I'm going to say this, this such a common refrain, and I was going to use one example as an exemplar, but please understand this happens all the time in different variations. So I that's as long as you like, I'll use one woman, but she represents many people. So she was saying, let's say she's in her mid twenties and you're saying, you know what, When I was in junior high school, like when I was 12, 13 years old and I got I'll use my language carefully. I was pleasuring boys orally. Okay. She said I thought I was so empowered. I was in control. You know, I could do what I want. I enjoyed it. And she said, I thought that. Then she realized, Wait a second, what did I get out of this? They weren't doing anything for me. Okay? When my boyfriend is telling me, Yeah, if you really love me, you're going to do what you did for me to my five friends and they're going to record it. Okay? And in that time for someone to say, Oh my gosh, this person, I think I love you, 12, 13, whatever. Okay. But for this person, I think what I love is my partner. I respect whatever. Okay? Could be doing such terrible things. To me that creates such cognitive dissonance. It just doesn't match. Those two thoughts don't match. So you have to lie to yourself, you have to rationalize, you have to make excuses for what you're doing. And that's what they're doing. And in therapy, when you have a you know, this is a true safe space, when you're feeling that whatever you say is not being judged by the other person. And it's, you know, and that person is trying his or her best to really get me to understand where I'm coming from. They're trying to be empathetic right? I'm not judging that person. I might have my own thoughts, but I'm not express that I'm asking questions and, you know, I'll tell my opinion right and so on. But anyway, the point is, when they say they look back and they go, What the hell was I thinking that was disempowering? It was degrading. And it took me many years to realize that that's what I was doing. But because that's an early experience and because she lied to her, so I guess she might say she I'm talking. They and I by they, I mean thousands of people in my own experience. Many. Right. The fact is, when you do something and you frame it a certain way, that's the narrative that you've created that becomes your reality and you build upon that and you build upon that. It takes the bravest, you know, and the strongest willed and strongest minded person to be able to put the brakes and go, Whoa, whoa, what was I thinking? Right? And I have all the respect for anybody who's able to do that because that's terrifying, because your self narrative, the way you see yourself, the way that you think about, you know, what we are. We're not reality devices, we are narratives. We are the narrative that we create. And, you know, and again, and people want to lie to themselves. And by the way, we create these narratives. But, you know, it doesn't mean that it's real. And if if they're so divorced from reality, it can be harmful. If you think again that you're empowered or that people respect you or whatever. And in reality, everything is the opposite, you're not going to function optimally. So again, I always have respect for people in therapy where they're able to break down those, you know, those those defenses and be able to see their reality like the true reality, the real reality, not the reality that they've created for themselves. And again, I don't know if I answer your question, but I've said a lot. Well, you've brought up a lot more questions and tangents, so I'm trying to pick where where I should go with this. And I guess I'll add in the same preface that by no means I want to come across as promoting any, you know, religious opinion here or political opinion Likewise fiscally conservative. But as far as social and otherwise, very open minded, very liberal. But I do think that there is something to be said about the direction, again, that this what are we 12th wave feminism? I know we're like fourth or fifth, but it just seems like by the day things are moving forward and you know, getting more and more ridiculous. But what I think we're losing here is what has been proven for generations upon generations, you know, traditional family values and traditional roles. And I don't mean traditional roles as far as, you know, let's be like a 1950s housewife. Of course not. I'm, you know, a woman with a career and a family. And I think that there's certainly room for a balance of the two. But my point being that this lie has been perpetuated to women that, as you're saying, they think that it's liberating, but in reality, it's it's oppressive. If all women think that they have to offer is their body and their sexuality, that is oppression. And that is the complete opposite, I think of what feminism at least originally was seeking to promote. And this is leading to a number of different things. And, you know, we see this in therapy, we see it in the media, in society in general that young men don't really know what to do as far as mate selection. And we've spoken about this many times in other episodes as far as how lost they are, because they're damned if they do and they're damned if they don't. They don't really know, you know, what's okay and what's not okay. Women are out there doing what they're doing and that's great. But I think we should look at the psychological impact of this, too. So women are told, you know what, go out, have sex with as many men as you want. They talk about, you know, increasing body count, I think is the term that's used. But when we look at it from the psychological perspective and and from the pair bonding, biological perspective, the more sexual partner someone has, the less they are going to bond with each subsequent mate. And for obvious reasons, that's going to run run people into some pretty big problems. When it comes down to settling down, if that's what they choose. But I guess in saying this out loud, maybe that's not what they choose. Right? And again, it's this black and white thinking that we have to help people kind of disconnect from, which is sort of they're saying, well, what are you saying that we should have like arranged marriages where I don't have any partner and then, you know, I go with the one person that my parents choose for me, things like that. That's an extreme view. Now, by the way, I just I brought that up for a reason, because with traditional arranged marriages, you know, I feel sorry for anyone who's put into that because they had no say in this. And they don't know if the partner, you know, the parents motives could have been what we want, you know, financial stability for ourselves, you know, or that. It was a business arrangement. Like a business arrangement, it's all right. But then the more traditional or sorry, the more modern arranged marriages, it's not that you're forced to to to to be with this person, not that you see them for the first time on your wedding day. Right. The parents are like matchmakers. And I used to say this to Stuart. I'm going to say two things I've said to students for many years, which is the one is I say, if you pick somebody because you're a chemist, the the neurological, the chemical reaction that you experience with them, the passion, the lust in that moment, that's not going to last. And that's not an indicator of anything other than a chemical reaction. Right. That has far less merit than if your parents did research on this person. They looked great. Do they have a good education? What's their family background? What's you know, what's their medical history, things like that. You know, do they have ambition? These they're they're choosing the partner based on traits and qualities that are far more predictive of a stable, you know, secure, lasting relationship than what you're doing When you know, when you're drunk, you meet them in a bar, they're oh, well, you know, he had a great tongue, so. Right. So that's one thing, you know, And again, what I'm being very clear is if your parents impose that person on you, that's not healthy. But if they say, hey, we met this person, check them out. You like them, great. If you don't, we're going to keep looking. All right. That's that's a very different system. The second thing I say, and there's something to what you're saying earlier, I want people to think about this question because, again, I've asked thousands of women this question. So I said was I said I said, imagine that you are let's say you have a partner. Whether so long is still you have two choices, a long term partner and a one night stand. Okay. And I say, imagine that they do something sexually that you don't find pleasurable. Maybe it's even a bit annoying, maybe tiny bit painful. Okay. It's tolerable, but all right. But it's definitely not giving you any pleasure. Okay. And I said so in the long term case, you've been with this person for years and they've done this to you. That's their go to move for years. And you've always, you know, like you've pretended it was something that you enjoyed. Okay. And with a one night stand, it's the first time that they're doing this and it's not enjoyable. Okay. So I asked you, I say, in which case are you more likely to say, hey, hey, you know, a nice way? You know, that's not really my thing here. If you do this or that. Like I've asked so many people, what do you think is the common response? First of all, which one is would they be more inclined to actually say something? And then second, their reasoning, What do you think? Hey, sort of this one. I was going to say, based on what we talked about before, I'm going to insert my own biases here. I don't think that the the one night stand option is the desirable one. Mean just to tell the person like you just put up with it. Yeah. Okay. All right. So they actually say that. Yeah. So I was trying to actually I think what their most common answer was. So, yeah, a lot of people, they would say that they would tell the long term partner, okay. And I'll tell you why. I'm going to ask you about the one night stand to second. Why not? Okay. Other people go, Oh my God, how do you tell a partner after so many years if is the one night stand now you can say it and, you know, might be a bit uncomfortable. Maybe they're going to stop and then maybe they'll leave. Whatever. But there's nothing invested for the long term partner. How do you say, honey, You know what? I know For the last five years, I told you that it was really good, but I get that's really, really difficult. But many people go that route not because they're thinking about that, but they're thinking more about the discomfort or the awkwardness or whatever of the one night stand. But here's the thing. Forget about the discomfort, all that other stuff. Do you know what a virtually every woman in this case and I'm going to point out one of my favorite students reactions years ago. Okay. But I'm going to ask you, what do you think they say when it comes to the one night stand? Why they wouldn't say anything? My first thought is they don't want to hurt their feelings. But I don't think that really comes into play based on what you just said there. Yeah, they don't want to make themselves look bad. Perhaps it's. Okay. Maybe. All right. I can tell you it's much more pragmatic than that. Okay. All right. Their reasoning again, I just want people to think about this. Okay? And we have heard this from so many people. But again, I'll tell you the one story in class years ago. So they almost all say the same thing. They go, look, you know what? I'll just you know, it's not worth it. Okay? Pragmatically speaking, you know, I don't really care. I don't care about this person. I'm never going to see them again. Right. It's not worth the discussion. It's not worth the discussion. I just want to go with the flow. Anyway. There may be a sense of awkwardness. It might be a bit of discomfort. There's a whole bunch of other layers because everyone's different. But the the most overt statement that they'll make is it's just not worth it. All right. This is one time I'll just, you know, like, you know, bite my tongue, let them do it. Whatever. I hope they get it over with quickly. Okay. Then they can roll over and we can go to bed or I'll leave or whatever. Okay. So that's what they say. And pragmatically, that makes sense. But so one time these students were saying that all these women were agreeing and these were older women, like older in the sense of it's not 80 year old students, okay? Their thirties and so on. And so one student, he was in his, I think forties. He was a gay man. Okay. And you just again he you said I didn't say he said you just put the percentages you said wait. He said if he said what's the purpose of a one-night stand right. Is like if it's to get, if it's for sexual gratification or enjoyment. He says aren't you kind of defeating the purpose? Right. That's the purpose. Why would you go? Okay, well, I'll just, you know, like let him just finish his do his thing or whatever. Hope is not it doesn't take too long, you know, and then be done with it is like that. That makes absolutely no sense. And if you really think about it, it doesn't make sense. A one night stand. Right? What is it for now? Now, by the way, in reality, people have many different reasons. They very rarely admit the real reason. Right. For some people, it's an ego boost. For some people, they're bored. For some people, they're hoping that it's going to lead to something else. For some people now, like they're trying to avoid reality. So this is a distraction. Like there's so many different reasons. Right. But the ostensible reason is I'm doing it because I'm sexually empowered. I want to have gratification. And while you're not getting it and you just admitted that you'd rather just shut up and let the person do it and hope that their fears quickly. So, I mean, again, that's an unhealthy perspective and they're lying to themselves. That's the problem. Okay. Yeah. And that's kind of where my, I guess, hesitation with my response came from, because I don't really understand the point of what people are doing with this and what they're hoping to accomplish, essentially other than pleasure. But then if if it was no good, what the hell was the point? But to build on what I was saying in my classes in human sexuality, in addition to critical thinking, I always teach them critical thinking skills so that no matter what information they might see out there, whether it's online or TV for friends, whatever I say, they're able to process it, to analyze, process and use it effectively. That's critical thinking. But the second thing I say is I said, I want you to come out of this class truly empowered, male, female, gay, straight, whatever. I don't care. I said, I want you to be empowered. You don't have to agree with my perspective on things. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I want you to be have the ability and to know that you have the right to express your wants, your needs, and so on. And here's why I say to people. I say, if you're a woman and you have sex with all these different people and you can truly say, truly, genuinely say A) I really find it rewarding. B) I'm not looking to settle down. That's just not my thing. I know for a fact it's not because of trauma, it's not because of any other reason. I honestly feel better this way or whatever, okay. Or not ready to. Later on I will and I prepare for that. Okay. I say if you can say all those things and then C) when you have a random hookup with somebody or if you have friends with benefits, I say if you can say on average, no, it's never perfect. But on average, if the sexual or emotional or other gratification that you receive is on par with or more than the other person, then great, you're doing a good job. But if you consistently find yourself just doing everything for the other person, you're only worried about their pleasure or satisfaction or their needs or their demands or whatever. I say that's not empowering. Empowering means that you get what you want in an adaptive way. And as I always say to people, what you say or do is irrelevant, is what other people see in here. So you have to find healthy ways, adaptive ways, effective ways to express your needs. And if you feel that you can't do that, just like with these women who have the one night stand and the guy is doing something, don't like it. So if they can, well, you know what? I'm here for a reason, right? I drove to this hotel or I met them at the bar. I took a chance. I went home with them or something. That way I want to get something out of this. If you don't feel that you're able to communicate what you want or need, then you're not empowered. Don't lie to yourself. And again, even though we're talking about women here, it applies to anybody, right? Man, woman, gay, straight, doesn't matter. You know, you if you can't express your needs and wants, do not lie to yourself and say that you're empowered. And that's why I say earlier, that's the greatest lie that is being sold that that all these women are happy because they're more sexual or they're having they're watching porn more and so on that that empowers them. No, it does not. I mean, take this one last one next step. I don't think I've talked about this before, but the other great lie is that when they say that while young people are having access to porn, you know, like what? We know this right at ages that we've never experienced before. Right? I was raised in a sex store. But for everybody else, like, you know, a magazine here or there, that's not the same as every single day going on your phone. And they go see well, they're becoming more knowledgeable, They're becoming more savvy. They're becoming more empowered. No, they are not. What they're doing is they're being exposed to things that they don't have the psychological, emotional, cognitive capacity to understand and to process properly. And so let's think about this. I hate to sound like an old man, but if we look at porn especially or music videos, most music videos that kids are watching rap, hip hop, whatever, okay, What are they seeing? Even in the ones that are like by Cardi B or Nicki Minaj or whatever, where the women are supposedly empowered. They're seeing half naked women shaking around. And for the gratification of men, that's the script that they are learning that sex is about women. You know, subjugating themselves to the man's wants or desires that they, as you said earlier, all they have to offer is sex, sex, sexuality, their body, not their intelligence, not their thoughts, not, you know, and so on. Right. And so when you see that from the youngest of ages, your schemata and your scripts are being set. And if Jean-Pierre just talked about this, you know, many, many years ago and, you know, the most famous developmental psychologist, he talked about assimilation and accommodation. So if somebody has a schema or a script and it's established. Okay, So the example I always give people is Santa Claus. If you're not to Santa Claus, choose whatever other, you know, analog you can use. But I say when a young child is taught that Santa Claus exists, great. He believes that that is set. The belief is that Santa Claus exists. And then when he sees evidence to the contrary, like, wait, I went to a shopping mall. Why don't I just see three Santas? Right? Well, at first, what the kid does is all this new information he's going to assimilated into his preexisting belief system. So he's going to say, oh, well, there's three Santas, because, well, maybe if the kid smart like, you know, he got cloned or, you know, maybe he has magical powers or this again. So if a child sees early on a female is to be, you know, used as a tool for a man's gratification, whether that's their script. And so they get more information, whatever they see, it gets assimilated into that existing script that the accommodation you change that script or the schemata, you know, with new information, new knowledge or whatever. Okay. But that comes later on when you're older and with something as complex as human, sexual, interpersonal dynamics, like kids don't just learn that naturally. So unless unless the child is actually sat down and has explained to them by a source that they respect, they're going to respect Cardi B far more than any teacher or parent or something like that. Right. So the kids, they're not getting any accommodation, they're not changing their model, they're getting new information, They're getting a bit you know, they're getting more layers of depth and understanding and context and everything like that. But they're not having a wholesale shift. And, you know, their understanding of human dynamics, of sexual dynamics and interpersonal dynamics, they're not getting that. That's not accommodating. It's all being assimilated in the same model of the woman is there for a purpose. And that purpose is not real empowerment. They're being told this empowerment, but it's really for the other guy's pleasure is to be judged, to be or to be not judged negatively, that their value is derived from the gratification, the pleasure that they bring. Right. And they never have that again, that wholesale shift, that accommodation so that great lie they said earlier is that having access to, you know, sexual material at an earlier age makes girls or guys more empowered, more savvy, more, you know, capable of getting their needs, that their needs met. That's B.S. It's not true. And and again, the more that people think that that's the case, right, the more they're lying to themselves are distorting reality and they're not functioning optimally. You cannot function optimally when you're distorting your reality so grossly. A little bit of distortion, create a little bit, you know, maybe optimism that's not warranted. Fine. But this is significant. It's a huge distortion. So I hope people understand that. Once again, this is coming from somebody who, A was raised in a sex store. Okay, I've been around sex them since the beginning of my life. B, who has taught human sexuality for over 20 years. C has made this a huge part of my clinical practice. Again, it's all about sexual empowerment. And D, I think I've said this to you before in other podcasts, but if anybody saw or heard the transcript of me talking to my three daughters from the beginning, from the youngest of ages, they would never know that I'm talking about girls, I mean, except for the content, right? But the message is the same. I want my daughters to be empowered. I want them to know if something is going wrong, whether it's in a relationship, whether it's in a sexual situation, whether it's at work, whether it's at school, I don't care. I want them to have to know not to feel. But know they have the right to advocate for themselves, to be, you know, to have self agency and to make sure they do their damnedest to make this situation turn out in their favor. It doesn't it's not always the case, but that they know that they should be trying to do so. And and everybody everybody should hope that for their child or for themselves. As much as we love listening to ourselves speak, especially me, we would love to hear from you as well. So our emails are in the description below. If you would, please write to us with your questions, feedback, comments, topics that you'd like us to cover. We can do this together. The two of us, but it's much better if we do it together. So we look forward to hearing from you. And we are going to have a segment called Roundtable where we're going to discuss the the feedback and the questions and so on from our audience. And we will we will take it to the next level. We're going to help you be able to deal with some of these issues that you might be bringing us or it's going to be a topic for us to explore together. And we really look forward to building a community, a community of like minded people who want to do right by others, not just for themselves.