it's toxic and it's dangerous. the other sex is dangerous before is just icky. Now it's going know they are dangerous from a young age. And boy, going through the youngest of ages why would you marry somebody and girl there here in the city and you don't need a man. Well again, that's is the way for a society to literally disappear. Hello and welcome to Awake at the Wheel. So in a previous episode we tackled the social media phenomenon regarding man versus bear, where women were asked would they rather be trapped in the woods with a man or a bear? So go back and watch that episode if you want some more context on that. But the response on social media to that has been the question posed now to men of would you rather share your emotions with a woman or with a tree? There's a lot of backlash about this, a lot of upset people, much like there was with the man versus bear. But I think that it warrants some discussion. And what we're gonna do today is look at a few videos that are posted online regarding this and talk about our thoughts on it. So without further ado, let's watch the first one. So okay, so I guess I'm a tree because that's what it sounds like he's describing is a therapist. Okay, where do I even start with this? So perhaps it's for social media effect, but let's let's assume that it's not. I can hear a great deal of pain and frustration in this man's description of what his needs are and what needs he has that are not being met. What I take issue with with not only this particular question, but also the man versus bear is it is so divisive, like everything in the world right now, everything is so and so versus so and so. All of these all of these have been is man versus woman and who's worse and for what reason. So that, I think in large part is why this question is problematic. But if we look at it a layer deeper, I think that not that he speaks for all men, but I think that there is there's certainly a gap in terms of men's ability to be able to speak freely about what they're experiencing. And this goes back to a previous episode that we did when we spoke about men's mental health. And the topic about the topic of men's mental health is often something that people raise their eyebrows about because the question as well, shouldn't it shouldn't it be the same? Absolutely not. As our listeners know, the majority of the clients that I work with are male first responders. So these are some of the like toughest men out there. And the way and this isn't in any sort of, you know, trickier, manipulative way, but the way in which I approach that client population is very different than I would approach, let's say, a stay at home mom. And I don't say that to stereotype or to minimize anybody's challenges, but men have really gotten the short end of the stick, especially, you know, masculine men when it comes to being able to express their emotions and to talk about their emotions. And to this individual's point, oftentimes, I suppose they don't feel safe sharing with women for all of the reasons that he named off there. And this is somewhat tangential, but I remember years ago, I wish I had had it prepared for today, but I don't. But years ago I read of a study that looked at the brain scans of in real time of men and women being exposed to the same stimulants as far as something that is emotionally provoking and in almost all cases, the man's brain imaging led up far more than the women's with the same emotional stimulus. But the way that men are socialized to express that emotion is vastly different than the way that women are. So women were outwardly showing the emotion more, but physiologically men were experiencing it more. And I bring that up because the fact is, men have emotions. Men have strong emotions. But we live in a society where they clearly don't feel safe or able or welcome to share and express them. Right. And actually, just to build on what you just said, there was another study where they looked at children, just a little boys and girls, very, very young over at the age, I'm going to say 3 to 5. And they were played a recording of a baby crying and the girls. So now we're not talking socialization here. This is biological, the girls. And as what you're saying as well, I mean, the men's brains light up, right? But the girls, they were like they were looking we're trying to find the baby. They were getting distressed. They're like they want to take, you know, to care for this child who's crying. Beautiful. The boys, they weren't doing any of that, but their heart rates were going through the roof. They're measuring their heart rate. So, yeah. So the boys are kind of shutting down. And so, you know, for whatever reason and this is, you know, maybe there was a little bit of socialization, but it just seems to be like a sex difference. So in any event, yes, males do have emotions. Boys, girls, you know, boys, men. We do have emotions. And, you know, it sounds like a cliche, but the fact that, you know, years later we're still talking about it says that, you know, society, you know, parenting, whatever culture, we're not doing a good enough job to to, you know, to to let people know or let males know what is the right way to deal with your emotions. Because and I've had so many men say this to me, so many where they say women say on the one hand, they want a man to be expressive, to be emotional, etc., etc.. But on the other hand, if we do that, then we're not real men. Right. So that's, you know, and I can't I don't think in actually I think in that man's diatribe, I think he did sort of allude to I can't remember because it was a whole list of things that he said which some of which, you know, stereotypically we know women are more inclined to do. But the way, again, as you say to your point, when you speak in absolutes, all it does is divide and cause more dissension between the sexes. I think all men are like this. All women are like that. Now, most people understand when you say women do this, it doesn't mean literally all women. We can understand that. That's hyperbole. But still, the fact that you're highlighting stereotypes and ugly stereotypes doesn't do any good. It just again, adds to further division. And to the point that you made about in therapy, women often bring forward the fact that they would like their partner to share more and express more, but then when they do, they feel uncomfortable. I feel like and I don't know. So I want to hear your thoughts on this, but I feel like there's probably something instinctual or something very base level about that, because in heterosexual relationships, I think that in general women are the nurturers and men are providers and protectors and so on. So I wonder if that vulnerability challenges or makes females feel uncomfortable and unprotected and unsafe because, well, if he's not feeling good, how is he going to take care of me? I don't know if that's part of it, but I wonder. I again, here's here's we're going to get in trouble because people aren't going to like this essay just came out last week, I think, or two weeks ago. You may have seen on the listserv that we're on, we're talking about, again, another study showing sex differences, I think was with babies. So once again, these are biological, that are cultural. And yes, there are differences. We have many inherent differences biologically. Now, of course, culture plays a huge role, maybe even more of a role. But the biological predispositions that we have are there, you know, and it's not like it's distinct, of course, there's overlap and so on. But males are more likely to see females more. Right. So this idea of this need or desire for protection, we are primates. You look at other primates, especially gorillas and so on, that that's what the female's looking for right? And it uses terms because Ailes used the term too much like an actual alpha male. Right? So and it's kind of funny because people then when they use the insult of the beta male and make him look like such a weekly it just for for the record, in primate societies, the beta male is second in command. He's actually not a we. All right. It's not a bad thing to be bad he's not the leader. But you're the right hand man or chimp. So in any event, the point is that I you know, I've heard this so many people and yes, it's anecdotal, but if you hear so many people saying this and studies support this as well, many studies do show this that there is something about wanting a man to protect you and or a male to to protect, to provide. And so now in today's society, you know, far more females are able to provide for themselves. So it's a little bit different. And, you know, but too many women are being told you don't need a man to provide. You don't need them for anything. But that's part of the division. But the question is and here's two questions to ask. And actually, I just saw this on hatred admitted. I'm not going to say we should watch video. It was okay. But it was a great question. Okay. So I'm going to say it just as I'm giving credit to where were the set came up? Two things the person was asking to self-proclaimed feminists. He said, how do you feel about women being conscripted into the army? Not volunteer, but conscripted because you got no problem with men being conscripted, being sent to the battlefield to die. So what about women? That was the first question. And the second one they were saying, if you're in a house with your with your male partner and someone breaks in, are you going to go challenge the person or do you expect your partner to? Right. So and again, in almost every case, you know, and so, you know, women will say, you know, the answer that you would expect, okay, about the male. And so basically they were you got these so-called feminist to basically admit that they're okay with this, you know, with feminism and all this stuff when it suits them. Yeah. Okay. Sex differences when it suits them. But anything else? No, no, no. There's no difference. We're all equal. And for years and years, the cliche has been and it's important one which is a good cliche, which is equal, but different. Yeah. Okay. Right. Anyone who finds that to be a terrible statement, I don't know what's wrong with you saying that people should be treated equal, but we have different strengths, aptitudes and so on. And of course, anyone who thinks that I'm saying so males can't do this or females shouldn't do that. No. If a male is more effeminate, if a male has more feminine interests and so on and proclivities, all the power to you. Right. And a few females more masculine. She's the the leader and she's the head of the household. Everything. All the power to you. Great. Right. But again, the whole point of this about the trees and everything is that he was depicting women in such an ugly, destructive light. And again, there are some women like that, but not all him. And it's just the way he said it and even said, like all women are, he's just one of those terms. On the end. Like I had a visceral reaction, just like women are all about like, relax, but we're not all that way. And I frankly question how many women are actually that way. And this is sort of a side note, but I feel like these things sensationalize these differences and I you and I deal with the public at a high volume. And that's not what my perception of the world is. Right. Again, I've seen it. And women are more likely to act in that way. But I've seen many women who don't do that. Right. You know, it just that everything I can't even I thought it would be shorter video. He had a long list of all these terrible things that women do. And even the thing about interrupting or cutting them short or whatever, that's actually a more of a male thing. Statistically, great research shows that men are more likely to reject, especially if they're uncomfortable. Whatever. It's so much what you described. By the way, I have to ask you some of this, not the gossip and everything, but some of the other stuff he was doing that was like manipulative and twisting right. When you heard that, what disorder did you think of? I thought of. PPD. Okay. So borderline personality disorder. And I also thought narcissistic personality disorder. Yeah, right. And then immigration turning around on you and stuff like that and using it to hurt you, like, yeah, cutting you off and everything. So. Yeah. So he's describing people with personality disorders or unhealthy personality characteristics. Which is a whole other discussion of, you know, what types of mates are you attracted to and selecting And not to say that there's anything wrong with people who are suffering from personality disorders, but I wonder if there's an element of confirmation bias. Here's what I'm trying to say. Yeah, think. Right. Yeah. Let's jump to the next. Would you like it so much more? Say so. He redeemed himself in the second half because the first half I'm sitting there like, okay, but easier said than done. But he, he did certainly address some of those those issues at the end. But I do want to talk about that first part where he's providing an example of, you know, sometimes people will bring it up in the in the middle of an argument or when they're being held accountable because they're being triggered. He used the word trauma. If it is something that is truly trauma, yeah, they're probably being triggered. And that's coming up. And, you know, the frontal lobe is shut down, their amygdala is fired up, the part of their brain that tells them to have a logical conversation is offline. So I just want to throw that part out there that, you know, I understand the example he was providing there, but it's not that simple. Okay. Well, I'm glad that we played the video before we spoke further because he touched upon so many things that I was going to say earlier. I actually I really liked that video. I thought it was nuanced. I thought it was fair, that it had some humor in it and everything. So I like that guy. One of the few videos around what I really like, that guy. So, yeah, as you're saying about, you know, if you are being well, first of all, the first thing that he's really, really talking about is manipulation and weaponization of emotions. Right? And especially when I'm working with people with narcissistic personality disorder. Right? Or do they have to be narcissistic? But that's the obvious one. All right. But such a common phenomenon, either I see it when I'm working with couples or I'm working with an individual in a relationship and I hear them describing it. And it's the same pattern, which is, I'm coming to you hurt, upset, whatever. Okay? And I walk away and we spent the entire time tending to the other person's emotions. So I'm invalidated. My experiences get sidetracked because, you know, the other person is hurt and I'm trying to take care of them. And even if they're not being manipulative, even if they're not intentionally trying to do it, somehow that person's needs trump mine in that moment, you know, because I'm the nurturer, I'm, you know, the more emotionally capable person I have, the higher IQ. And so I'm going to tend to him. But the funny thing is, I think that the patient but the funny thing is, if you really had that high of an IQ, you would have recognized what was happening. You would have dealt with it and said, okay, but we still need to talk about my feelings. And if that's not happening, then either you leave or you go to therapy or you find some way to be able to have these discussions where one person, it's not a zero sum game, one person's needs can't totally, you know, take away from or, you know, what's called supersede another person's needs. Yeah, it's so interesting, though, that I'm viewing this kind of through the PTSD lens and you're viewing it through the personality storylines and both are obviously valid. But just an interesting observation I made there that I'm coming at it as well. You know, if they're dealing with trauma, then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right? Yeah. And here's the thing. And I said this to so many people, a couple of things. When we're talking about emotions and so on, and again, we're going to a bit of a sidetrack, but we're not just, you know, complaining about videos. We want to expand. So a couple of things. Actually. This too. So many couples or every couple I deal with basically I say there is the logical and the emotional. So when one person's saying something logically, you understand it and I get them to use this language saying, you know, I fully understand what you're saying. I get it intellectually, but emotionally I still feel hurt, neglected. I think that you're acting in a shitty way and so on. Right? So, you know, and maybe and sometimes it's fair, sometimes it's irrational because these are emotions, right? But the first step is to people for to have people integrate that into the language. Okay. Two, distinguish between what I know or what I think versus how I'm feeling, right? Because someone says you're an asshole. Well, that's a statement of fact. You're an asshole if someone says no when you talk that way, I feel, of course we'd like to have better language and able to say, you know, like, I'm feeling like you're acting like kind of like a navel or feels that way. Okay. Right. And so it's it's not semantics. It's a huge difference. So that's the first thing I say. And then the second thing I say is and this is to your point about if someone has trauma, okay, I say again, I don't want to make a zero. It shouldn't be a zero sum game, but someone's needs, someone's feelings, someone's wishes are going to come at a cost to the other person's needs, feelings, wishes, or whatever it. We don't want to be a total thing, but it's going to someone's going to take the knee, take the hit or something like that. So in trauma and again, what I'm saying and it's so hard and I work with people and I have said that, yes, you know, this person has trauma like they're being triggered. They're they're having a traumatic reaction and so on. Okay. So if you're able to have the compassion and empathy to contain yourself, not to react, not to take what they see in that moment to heart and everything like that, all the power to, again, as you say, easier said than done. Right. But you have to recognize your person. They may have PTSD, they may have complex post-traumatic stress disorder. Similar, but different. Right. But same idea as you said. Like in the moment your amygdala is on fire. They're not being logical. They're being hurtful. They're lashing out, they're shutting down, maybe they're dissociating and so on. So so I see on the one hand, the person doesn't have that, tries to contain, tries to not, you know, exacerbate and everything. But on the other hand, I say to the person who has the trauma or the depression or whatever else they're dealing with, I say you cannot expect that other person to be able to put up with you forever. Right? It would be nice if they did. It'll be nice if till death do us part in sickness and health and everything was a real thing. But for most people it's not. And I say that and I see it with total compassion. Right. But I tell them the hard truth with it, which is you need to take responsibility for what you're going through and to get that person on board. Most people don't want to say they didn't sign up for that. Okay, Some people ahead of time, they knew. Okay, caveat emptor, buyer beware. If you're if you know what you get, if you know this person has a history of depression, if you know they have diabetes, if you know they have some other condition, you know, and you're you're signing up for that, then you know, it's going to be hard. It's a heavy burden to carry. But you sign up for that and then do it with grace and dignity. And so on, and hope that you have a fair partnership and working on that. But anyway, the point is that especially the person didn't know or they didn't know the extent of what you're dealing with. They didn't know about the trauma and everything like that. Then again, you have to be prepared. This person may leave you and they always tell the person. I say, if most of the people that I'm dealing with who the trauma and so on, they really, you know, maybe cause their own trauma. They're very compassionate, their caring, their loving, their giving, they're generous and everything. I say, if the world had more people like you, it would be a better place. But it doesn't. So again. So I tell them again, I don't want to shame you. And again, I'm not doing justice to this because I'm not writing it and I'm taking time to really deliver to them. And I say, I'm not trying to shame you or anything like that. I'm just being realistic. And I'm telling you right now, when I bring reality into therapy, you know, so it's usually one of the two people likes it. They they appreciate it. Okay, great. The other person does it sometimes. They both don't like it because they're both being held to account. Like, I'm sorry, I'm not going to just give you compassion because compassion without that reality is not compassionate. You're doing that a disservice to the person. Right. So I say again, and you know, what's the most important sentiment, feeling emotion I deal with in therapy? Resentment. Resentment. Right. So I always say that's the person that if you're going to expect something from the other person or demands something or don't want them to do whatever, just understand the outcome is going to be resentment. Who's going to be able to handle the resentment better? Which resentment is more realistic or fair to expect the other person to have to handle? And so on. Like these are the you know, the real life discussions we have. So anyway, I know it's a bit of a digression, but I think it's important for people to not operate in fantasy because I'll say one more thing and I'm I'm going to hold it, I'm going to edit part of it out. I'm not going to say it, okay. But my patients know this, that there are many therapists who don't operate that way and they hear if someone has trauma, then you partner. You better do everything in your power to just listen to them and blah, blah, blah and thought. And that's just and I've seen many therapists, I've heard from patients, even when there's a couple that they all say, Yeah, that's how the therapist dealt with it is like, What's wrong with this therapist? They don't deal with reality, they don't fantasy. And they're doing they're not doing anybody any good in that regard. Yeah, And to that point, the way that I address that, like right off the bat with couples, even with individuals who are in relationships, is, you know, when we talk about the trauma and the role that it's playing, it's an explanation, but absolutely not an excuse. 100%. Okay. Well, let's watch the next one. Okay. It's this like. So if you like, he contradicted himself quite a bit at the end there. He was almost redeeming himself by pointing out all of those areas of men's mental health that need to be addressed and spoken about more clearly. But then he just went and dismissed that very topic by what he said, because I think the spirit of this woman versus tree is exactly that. To open up the discussion about men's need to be able to speak about their emotions and be vulnerable, whether with women or with men. So that that's my first thought on that. Okay. If a joke that he made, I got a bit like the thing about the the most dangerous creature or whatever and putting him up against a bear, it's just I didn't see one coming for a second. I just thought, God, here he is. He's a male feminist saying, Look good over there for that one. I have to give him credit for that. And, you know, so a few things. I mean, I liked most of what he said, and I hadn't even thought about that, about the comparison of, okay, you know, bear versus man versus like, you know, they're both potentially dangerous. Right. Versus verses, you know, woman, the threat of the woman doing all these things versus no threat at all. No vulnerability, no fear. Right. So that is an unfair comparison. Good Like I like that. Even think I interject for a second, though. I don't know if it's I don't know if that is an apples to apples comparison, because I think the whole spirit of that, the point is that there is danger in men not being able to express their emotions. Okay, That's a different thing. That's looking differently right now. Okay. I'd have to really think about that and just try to address what you just said. Exactly. I'm just try to think of how they were trying to, you know, let it come up with it. It was basically what he's saying is that they came up with like a gotcha. All right. Like a better comparison. Like I'd be saying that the way that the fact that he's saying that it's two different things now someone could argue and say, but wait a second. Again, portraying men like all men basically as being as violent as a bear is unfair as well. And that's where I think his video was lacking, because he kept saying it's just scoring point scoring. Well, what was the original video about with women? It wasn't a good faith discussion about, you know, how to help society or whatever it was that shit on men thing. So I was scoring points. So I was just saying that I like the idea that he's comparing, saying these are two different things. Like, you know, it's not. But again, he failed to, to say that yeah, women we're trying to score points as well. It was just a gotcha. So that was my one big criticism about that. And then yeah the idea of of trying to as you as you've been saying, multiple, you know, many times of making it safe for men to be able to, you know, speak about share, explore, connect with their emotions because we know that failure to do so is taking a huge toll on society. And by the way, the second video, I think the man said about the the suicide thing if it men weaponizing it, right. Yeah. If you weaponize that's not cool. But to deny the fact that men's mental health certainly is suffering and it's shown in the suicide rate the greatest metric of of distress like you know or the absolute metric the ultimate is you know, suicide and and for and hopelessness and so on. So for for men to have such higher rates that 3 to 4 times at the higher rates of actual committed suicides. I think it is an important point. So yes, we you know, you and I have had videos of this and again, you it bears repeating. You deal with some of the manliest men, you know, who are struggling to be able to, you know, be vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. And I guess my other issue with this guy is a contradiction that he made is, you know, it's about scoring points. I kind of got the sense that he's trying to score points with women by by taking this stance. Well, that's why I originally thought as well then through the joking. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know any of his other videos so I'm not sure because the way he described it sound like you guys have a series of videos of trying to discuss these topics. So if it's always in the same manner or the same vein, then yes, it does sound like, okay, maybe he's scoring points, but maybe in his the rest of his videos, maybe he does have good faith discussions about, you know, men maybe. Yeah. And I don't know his content either. So, yeah, I can't say. Okay. I just again, like I said, I thought I hadn't heard anyone else. Actually, I haven't really follow that much. But again, this idea of danger and danger versus, you know, vulnerability and it's like Tre with like with no danger kind of thing. Like, it just wasn't a fair comparison. Yeah. By the way, I don't know what would have been a better apples to apples comparison. I'm just trying to think about that. You know, a woman versus or, you know, or a certain type of woman versus another one. I don't know. Again, the point is both questions. Truly, there's no I don't know. I'm sure some people did take, let's say the woman in the bear one, they did take it, they expand on it and they made it into like an actual not a gotcha thing. But let's have a good faith discussion about like you and I had. Yeah, okay, maybe some people did do that, but let's not fool ourselves again. All of these damn videos, every single one of them is a gotcha, a shit upon a score points and click, click, click. Give me some likes and. That therein lies the problem, right? Again, the divisiveness of it and the fact that men and women aren't looking. And regardless of relationships and couples, men and women as species do not appear to be having any desire to work collaboratively. Or at least that's the way that this is being portrayed. And, you know, none of the goals of males or females are going to be achieved if we're on complete opposite ends of everything. Exactly. And we're seeing it statistically in the West, We are seeing that fewer people are settling down and saying, I want to start a family. I want to have children. I mean, that's sorry. It may sound old fashioned, but that is the goal. Not for everybody, but but for a species. Okay. The replication of the species after the procreation. Okay. That is the goal of every single species or it's a major goal. And we're seeing it, statistically speaking, in Canada, in the states, birth rates declining. And we when you surveys and everything like that, you're seeing more and more young people saying, I would never want to settle down or do that because and you and I have talked about in other videos where men and women are being portrayed in the ugliest manner. Yeah, right. And once again, unlike any other time in the history of humanity, the kids are seeing this from a younger and younger age. They're being inculcated with this type of hateful, divisive rhetoric and these beliefs and everything from the youngest of ages. So their schemata are being formed. So I say concretely at a younger and younger age, and we know like, look, boys play with boys for the most part, girls play with girls, they're yucky, blah, blah, blah. Okay, But that was just like on a very basic level. Yeah. Now they're being told by people that they think they're looking up to where they're male. It's very specific narratives surrounding it. Now very, and it's toxic and it's dangerous. The other person, the other sex is dangerous before is just icky. Now it's going know they are dangerous from a young age. And boy, going through the youngest of ages why would you marry somebody and girl there here in the city and you don't need a man. Well again, that's is the way for a society to literally disappear. And it's so bizarre. And, you know, I guess today's drinking word will be confirmation bias, because I think that, you know, the messages that are being portrayed out there are very much perpetrating a huge confirmation bias that, you know, men are bad, women are bitches, don't get married, don't have kids, don't have a family this is the patriarchy. And I could go on and on and on. But my point in saying that is I really don't think that what social media is portraying and, you know, maybe I'm saying a very obvious statement here, but I'll say it anyways. What social media is portraying about these narratives, about each gender, it doesn't reflect reality. I don't think that most people are this way. And again, I have a leg to stand on because of the number of people and the diversity of people that I deal with in my work. This doesn't seem to represent reality well. It doesn't represent the reality that we're seeing with adults. But again, never in the history have we seen such divisive rhetoric and hate and suspicion and so on, again, being promoted to the youngest of ages because they have access to it right. So it's. Becoming reality. I guess it. Keeps coming down. Yes. Even though it's not based in reality. Exactly. And, you know, and the reality is we know on social media there's only like a certain percentage, we 5% or whatever that have these extreme views. But they get the most they're the loudest, they get the most clicks and everything of that. And the algorithms hate to sound conspiracy theory, but hey, look at TikTok. Do deep dives that you have to even do deep dive, put your toe in the water and you realize, the people who own Tik Tok, the country, you know, the country that owns it, they have the heat button and they can push they can make the algorithm promote certain beliefs. And I'm going to say every now and then, we don't have time to go to this. But others have spent and I think we've talked about this maybe in other videos, but it's part of a broader narrative. I truly believe it's not just males versus females. It's subversive. Is try is telling people, look, as a kid, I was the most subversive kid you're going to find and as a teen as well. Okay. But that was my own thing. I wasn't doing it for a cause or because of this or that. That's because I was a terrible kid in a teenager. I was subversive in that way. But kids are being taught from the youngest of ages. You'll destroy everything because everything around there, the systems, the history, everything, it's racist, sexist, it's transphobic, it's this, this, this and that. And if you go into the system, you're going to be harmed or you're going to be perpetrating harm against others. Right? So you have to destroy the system. Now, are these kids going to destroy the system? No, they're not, because they're a bunch of other kids. And the older ones were doing all this. A lot of them are not the same. They're not world beaters. They're not going to actually destroy it, but they're causing chaos and the most important thing is, even if they don't change the system, which they won't, again, they have a belief system and their system is not to be trusted. It's all going to hurt them and everything like that, and it's causing them to be anxious. We've talked about this in so many videos. They're anxious, they're scared, and they are seeing the other sex, not just again, like they're seeing them as dangerous. They're being more afraid. Right. And so if you're a part of the 90 something percent of the high 90% of people who are heterosexual, and that's your option, right? It's it's a very scary thing. And people we know with social media, like we know that people are more far more likely. Young people are far more likely to connect with others of the opposite sex in a romantic way or a dating or a sexual way through online apps first. So they're not even getting that real life connection. They're almost they going on a date, for example, with a mythical being because they're having less. Again, it's not everybody, but is becoming more and more segregated. And, you know, and the segregation comes in other ways politically. We know males, for example, I get thrown out here just I want people to kind of consume this. Males are far more likely than females to be conservative, to be Republican. Right. And females, the opposite, more liberal or NDP or Democratic right. And we've seen that. Now, if you're on one side of the political spectrum, how dare you even talk to the other? And that's becoming more and more and more obvious, blatant and pervasive. Right? So it's another way that is preventing males and females from having happy, healthy, fulfilling relations with each other. Because again, my God, he's a Republican. He must be a Nazi. So these women aren't getting a chance. And so, again, it's just I can go on and on about that. But I'm just saying it's beyond these stupid videos. These videos are not the cause. They are a symptom of something much deeper, much greater. And once again, statistically, it's not me just fear mongering or statistically we are seeing the impact. Far fewer people are having children and far fewer people are planning to have children and far fewer people are getting into long term committed relationships that would lead to the, you know, the formation of a family. And my gosh, you said family. that patriarchal colonialist blah, blah, blah. How dare he say that? That's the F-word Family. Is the new F word. Yeah. And therefore, it's I'll try to stay on track here, but, you know, I'll get my tinfoil hat on for a second and yeah, I won't get into what I think it is. But I firmly believe that this is part of a bigger plan or scheme or something. There is something to this which it's just so counter to who we are as a species. So when something doesn't add up, I typically will sense that there is something greater going on. Related, but somewhat tangential as well is there's this. So my guilty pleasure is this trash TV show called Married at First Sight. So if anyone hasn't heard of it, Google it. But basically the the general premise is there's a group of like 30 year old people who have had relationship after relationship that hasn't been successful and they want to be married. So there's a group of professionals, there's a psychologist, a pastor, and I think a sociologist who are the experts, and they match these people up. And I've watched several seasons of it. And it's so interesting that I would say in the last four seasons there is a distinct decline in the men wanting to have sex with their new wife. And I bring that up because I think that it's relevant to what we're talking about here where there's this and this is, you know, don't burn me at the stake for this, but I think that it is natural for a heterosexual man to want to have sex with his new wife. And I understand that, you know, they just met and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But it's it's very bizarre. And frankly, unmasculine the way that these men are approaching it. And it goes beyond like wanting to respect the woman, because many of these women are like, all I want to do is bowl my new husband and it's just not happening. So to the point that you're making here, it is translating into what I'm seeing on this TV show of this this just weird dynamic that's coming out even in these marriages. And I'll point out in some of them that's caused the marriage to break up. Right. Okay. Well, yeah, it's very interesting. I think that might be an episode in of itself. Yeah. Okay. I'm not I'm not watching the show. Know it's the trapped object. But we could talk about it, maybe talk about the premise and everything, because that. Yeah, yeah. To that point, like it is, it is totally natural. It's chemical. Yeah. We have these chemicals that you put a male and female together and, you know, especially if they're naked or whatever and you know, if they don't have baggage or whatever, that makes them feel resentful toward the other person, you should want to be able to be technically the only other person when you're with them. To get technical. Yes. So one more thing. I just want to go back to that comparison that this individual made with regard to danger versus danger for the choice for women and danger versus no danger for men. I think that that comparison is erroneous because when it comes to men, we're looking at psychological safety and the safety needs of men in the safety needs of women are different. This goes back to what we've spoken about before, that men are equal but different. The needs are different. The need for psychological safety, if not met, can lead to dire consequences. Just like you said, he brought up that point about suicide rates in men being weaponised. No, it shouldn't be weaponized, but it certainly is an unfortunate byproduct of men bottling up their emotions and not being able to express them in a healthy and safe manner. yeah, exactly. And yeah, that's because I think about that. The dangerous danger and dangerous. And I thought that was actually really clever, that it was different. I hadn't thought about it that way, but now you're making it very explicit that, no, it is dangerous. A dangerous is a different type of danger. It's psychological danger, bodily things up. So or not being able to express or not connecting to your emotions. So, yes, I agree. So shame on him. I take back anything good. I said, All right, all right. Not going that far. I'm not going that far. But I think that is a really important point. And because I haven't watched in any of his videos, I hope that other people maybe had made that comment and maybe he reflected on it, said, geez, what am I talking about? So on that note, we want to hear listeners what you think about this discussion today. Do you feel that there is a need for more nuance? Do you think that they're that these questions are poignant, that are being asked on social media? Let us know what you think. Okay. And on that note, until next time, keep your eyes on the road, in your hands upon the wheel.