gifts, I think, is one of the topics that probably causes the most stress during the holidays, especially amongst parents, simply because of the financial burden that people experience from purchasing gifts. And, you know, I'm so empathetic with people who feel pressured and they want their kids to you know, for me, it's about not feeling excluded socially. you can't over emphasize the need for children to have a little bit of magic in their lives. Right. Hello and welcome to Awake at the Wheel. So the holidays are right around the corner and last year we covered a lot of really important tools and strategies to consider and utilize when you are attending family gatherings and just dealing with the general stress of the holidays. So really encourage you to go back and watch that video because there's lots of great tools. But today what we're going to be talking about is some of the different parenting trends that are arising on social media as far as, you know, different things with the holidays, with gifts, with family gatherings. So our producer has compiled a few different videos for us to watch regarding these trends and to give our thoughts from the psychological perspective. So let's get started. So gifts, I think, is one of the topics that probably causes the most stress during the holidays, especially amongst parents, simply because of the financial burden that people experience from purchasing gifts. I think, though, from, you know, looking at it from the parenting perspective and what's best for kids, I think that probably our profession is divided. On the one hand, I think that it's, you know, it makes the holiday special if kids can look forward to this big display of gifts. But on the other hand, I think that it's problematic because it is very self-focused and materialistic in our household. And I think we spoke about this in last year's episode. We have always focused on five gifts, something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read that's for not five and that, you know, then I think captures both. It breeds the excitement of like, there's these things that I want, but it's not this like disgusting, excessive display of gifts and materialism. What are your thoughts? Well, when you mentioned that last time I loved it, I thought that was just great. And so we're different. So I let my mom spoil my kids for Christmas. So it's gone over to Nanos and go having a great time and the Christmas tree and everything like that. And, you know, and doing that much to the chagrin of my wife, because a lot of it is wasteful. The stockings so much of is just, you know, silly stuff. But I let the kids do that. And that way they have their magical time and they understand where, you know, my wife and I stand because, you know, we aren't materialistic and we want them to, you know, to have respect for, you know, for us just for for money, for, you know, just for hard work and everything that, you know, just granted anything that you want. Stuff like that. So they have the magic, but they also have the healthy perspective that we want to give them. And I tell them, I say, look, you know, I it's the same with my wife. I don't do anything on Valentine's Day or things like that, but I will suddenly surprise her out of the blue on some other day, just on principle. Cause I don't like to be a slave to the materialism. So. And she knows that the kids as well, you know, they want something during the year. I'll get it for them. You know, if they can explain to me why they need it or want it, it's something that I don't do spoil them. I give them what they need and sometimes what they want. So, you know, so to me, it's a philosophy. I'm not saying it's right, but that's just the one that I've adopted. Just because I really, from a young age, just I'm so iconoclastic, basically. And, you know, I just I just and I don't like being manipulated. I just don't. Right. So I don't like being told this is how you're supposed to do it. So that's just my nature. Yeah. And likewise, for the same, we don't let the calendar tell us that it's time to buy a gift. It bothers me. Maybe it's because both of us don't like being told what to do. I don't know yet. We're the same. And I guess with that video in particular, I find it kind of gross. Really? The the the phrasing and the verbiage in there, the bragginess of it. And that's something that I often take issue with to on Christmas Day on social media, when people are wishing everyone a merry Christmas. And there's always that picture of people's tree and it's like, are you doing this for your kids or are you doing it for that photo that you can put on social media. Right? Exactly. And, you know, now there's a whole other side, of course. And I get that as well. Like, we don't do that. Like, you know, as again, I broke down, we've got a tree. You know, we start doing every year. As soon as the kids are like, you know, it's too much of a hassle to decorate it if I'm not doing it, you know, because it's really for you guys and it's not for anyone else. We don't take pictures in front of it or anything like that. It's just it's, you know, let the kids have this festive feeling. But if they're not feeling it, fine, We don't need to do it. We don't do it for anybody else. But speaking of anybody else, and I'm sure we talked about this last year, the tricky thing is if everybody else, presumably especially now with social media, it seems like, you know, you get to see everyone, you know, is getting this gift or these shoes or whatever else like that. That's a real, you know, burden on the parents. And, you know, I'm so empathetic with people who feel pressured and they want their kids to you know, for me, it's about not feeling excluded socially. And sadly, you know, you and I can have our beliefs, but the vast majority of people seem to be very materialistic. And so they're going to have materialistically driven kids. So it is very tricky to, you know, to have that balance, to strike that balance, basically. Yeah. And I feel like I'm, you know, talking on both sides here. But I love Christmas like it's always been one of my favorite times of year. But I like, you know, the decorating and the time with family and the food and the downtime, like all of those, you know, intangible things I think are what's most important. But you're right, and especially with social media, the pressure is insurmountable for some people. Yeah. And it's and that's we can't, you know, deny that or downplay it because it's relatively new, you know, social media before it is just, you know, your immediate peers. That's all you had to deal with. Now, with social media, especially if you have a little bit of a following, if you have a couple of, you know, 20, 30, 5000 thousand people following on Instagram. Right. And they're sorry, either they are expecting something from you. And again, I'm not talking about big influencers. I'm just talking about anybody who has anything out there, you know, where a bunch of kids or adults following them. Well, kids, a teen, I guess we're talking mostly, but so whether it's expected of them or they think it's expected of them, that perception of it, that can really make a lot of kids feel anxious and distressed. And because not every kid or teen or young adult is going to be able to live up to those expectations, what we see is some of them faking it, right? That pretending that they got this or they got that and, you know, and then they get busted and that's humiliating when you get, you know, faking something like that. So it's just an added layer of pressure that always existed, just a tiny degree, but it just spread far more and that affects more people. Yeah. It's so amplified now. Right. All right. Well, let's check out the next video. Here's some like misplace ideas about Christmas magic. One Christmas magic means that all your difficult emotions just simply disappear. I wish that was the case. Wouldn't it be nice to add another one is, and you can forget all of the past abuse and difficult crap that your family members have done to you and you should put it behind you for Christmas. You should put it behind you again. Can you imagine that being said about any other form of abuse? A belief that yeah, that you should be able to accept people's abusive and emotionally dysfunctional behavior just because it's Christmas and there's this pressure, isn't there, to be with family. And I guess if you've got a toxic parent, then at Christmas they'll make you feel really guilty that they might be alone as a result of their own connections. And then even if you've played like the best boundaries, Christmas has, this way of really wanting to push those boundaries away does not mean and make you feel bad for having them. And then this helps people get beyond those boundaries. And so that can be really difficult to maintain and uphold those boundary. And then even if you've had toxic parents in the past and they've been helping, Christmas can be like a really triggering time of year, you can see all of the happy families together and it can make you think about the family that you perhaps never have. There's all this kind of snuggling up in front of the fire kind of pictures and visions that people give you a Christmas. And if you've never had that, it's going to be triggering. And then if you've got your own kids and you're seeing them open the presents and then that's going to be horrible, you know, because horrible. But like, it might bring up some stuff for you where you think, I wonder if my mum or dad ever even looked at me like this when they were opening them. So it's really difficult time of year for a lot of people. that video breaks my heart. And I would I'll preface my statement with not to minimize the uniqueness of each individual situation, but I would say that that video summarizes the majority of my therapy sessions in December, because those themes, those painful themes stretch across so many people's lives. And I think the answer to it really varies depending on the person's individual experience, their family, the level of abuse or trauma. So I don't think that there's aa1 size fits all answer to that. But I really just think it depends on what is tolerable, if not going at all is what's going to bring you the most peace, then that's what you've got to do. If creating some sort of boundary like we talked about in last year's episode, either boundary of a time frame of discussions of where you're going to stay, if that's going to make it tolerable, then so be it. But I think that because it is such a difficult time of year, you've really got to assess the entire situation and do what's going to feel best long term. Yeah, and look, you know, we should all over so many of these videos that we watch. I got to say that one, I thought, aside from the volume of the music, loud, okay. But I thought it was really well done. It wasn't hyperbolic. I thought that was compassion. Yeah, I really took to that video and I thought it spoke to again the same everything you said was things that come up in sessions for sure, and you talked about the boundaries and so on and even with the best laid boundaries, etc., etc.. So I really I appreciate that video. Okay. One thing that he said that like let's say it was interesting because he said, like if your kids are opening presents, right, and you didn't have that, you're one of my parents that were looking. To kill me when he said that. Yeah. And I've had many. But the funny thing is that many patients have told me that as soon as they had kids, that changed their perspective on their parents because they thought they realized I would never do that to my kid. I can't fathom do that to my kid as a person having it done to them. Obviously, it wasn't good, but they somehow internalized that, you know, they somehow framed in a way that while it made sense, but they can't make sense of doing that to their own kids. So so I just I just thought about that. Like, if you're watching your own kids opening presents and everything, if I had a patient say that to me, I would say then frame this as like gratitude for my son. I say, do that for yourself. Like saying, I overcame this and maybe it's because of your partner, maybe it's because of your partner's family, Maybe it's because you had kids. That was like finding that gratitude in that moment can help mitigate those effects of thinking about love. My parents, you know, I wonder if they thought about me that way. Right. And and they always talk with patients about stages. You're in a different stage of your life now, especially compared to as a child. So in those different stages, we have different needs. And back in those days, yes, there were certain needs that your parents failed to, you know, to deliver on. And so that's terrible. But you have to say to yourself, again, have self gratitude and say somehow I'm resilient and hearty enough to be able to have made it this far right. And now I'm going to do everything in my power to break the cycle and to make sure that I don't allow that toxicity to, you know, to to bleed into my own parenting. So I always try to get people to have the most positive frame, a realistic positive frame. And although it was a more lighthearted part of our conversation, just like we said, the calendar can't tell us, you know, when to buy gifts. The calendar shouldn't tell you when you have to see people that you wouldn't see the rest of the year. And I think that's you know, what I take issue with with obligatory holidays in general is the fact that it's obligatory. It's you know, the calendar says so I have to do X, Y and Z. And if I don't, then I'm going to be labeled as A, B and C, And that's just not the way that reality works. And, you know, society does work that way in part. But we've got to again, attend to what works best for us, right? And because I'm so big on symbolism and, you know, so yes, Christmas or these other symbols, you know, they may trigger that feeling in us more strongly, you know, and and may make us feel either that we need to do this or feel bad about that. But yeah, you're right. Any time of the year you can say I'm going to like, for example, the gratitude. Okay, I will use Christmas, you know, as a reminder to say, okay, you know what, next week and next month and six months from now, I'm going to do the same thing. I'm going to step back. I'm going to say, Wow, how lucky am I that I made it through a terrible childhood or whatever. I found a reasonably okay partner. Then I have my kids who are not terrible parasites only and all these other things and just trying to force yourself at any time of the year. Right. To implement healthy perspectives and and thoughts and beliefs. Yeah, and I guess I'll add to that too. In speaking about one's own children and and things such as that, setting an example in that respect I think is important too, and showing them that, you know, you don't have to put up with people and behaviors and things that are disruptive to life and to the holidays. Right. And that's why you said, you know, we hope that people will watch last year's video because we talked about this in so much detail. And I'm pretty sure that we would have talked about what you just said about, you know, being that model for your kids. How much good are you doing? Like, I've had a number of patients. I mean, I said it last year, I'm not sure. But, you know, I've had a number of patients who they want to maintain the family, whether it's parents or siblings, whatever. But when they have the kids and they see one of their family members do something that just so destructive, they say, I can't subject my children to that. And if you don't have children, then then say, I can't subject myself to that for my partner, but especially if you have children, you use that as, you know, again, the impetus to to, you know, to do better and to do better means to again, to put those boundaries and to make sure that you don't either yourself, you know, subject your kids to the same things that you went through or, you know, again, expose them to to family members who might do something like that. Yeah, But yeah, I think that video was great. I think that that's something that a lot of people should reflect on. And like you said, one of the better ones for sure that we've watched. Yeah, Yeah. Okay. Well, let's see the next Did believing in Santa Clause screw you up? Actually, maybe, at least according to some psychologists, they suggest that perpetuating the Santa myth teaches kids that lying is okay, especially since kids don't know how to lie. Inherently, it's a learned behavior, mostly from their parents, with studies showing that less honest parents result in less honest kids. But research shows that the folks who are most screwed up when kids find out isn't real are the parents. In one study, they were the ones that were predominantly sad. And the good news is that one survey shows there to be no correlation between being told the Santa lie and having a good relationship with your parents. It may have just turned into a distrusting liar. Let's talk about Santa Claus, because I have opinions and they are probably not what you expect. I hope you're not watching this with your kids. If you are, scroll the way we're about to talk about Secret Santa stuff. I am actually a fan of the whole Santa Claus thing, and I will tell you why. Let's say you are a child and you learn about Santa Claus. Your parents or your caregivers tell you about Santa. Every adult tells you about Santa. Every commercial tells you about Santa. He comes while you're sleeping, he leaves presents. This is something that is accepted by everyone you know, to be true. As you get older, you start noticing things about this assertion. You start to take a look and question, Well, how can Santa be at this mall and this mall? But again, every adult in your life assures you that it's fine, that Santa is very real. Until one day the truth hits you and you find out you, the child were not wrong. It was the whole world. This is an incredibly important skill for a child to have as they grow up to look at something that the whole world asserts to be true and to look at it critically and think, well, maybe it's not. Now, could this skill be taught another way? It absolutely could. But this, to me, is the height of learning critical thinking. A child learning that something is false, even though everyone around them is swearing up and down, that it's true. That is a skill I want kids to have. as somebody who loves critical thinking, I like that perspective and the second one, but I have a feeling that you and I are not going to be on the same page with this one. So before I give my thoughts, what do you think my opinion is on Santa? I'd be either lying about Santa. Okay. What do I think? my goodness. I see. So I'm. I'm stumped on that one because I've got two different answers. One is, you know, it's okay. It's magical. It's it's kind of like, what's the right where you're the end justifies the means, but you're trying to have this magical time for children. And, you know, kids are inundated with so much terrible things, even without social media, you know, they see things in the world. And so to preserve Santa Claus, it being a symbol of, you know, of innocence, of purity, of, you know, just joy. So on the one hand, I can see you saying that's perfectly fine. And then eventually, when they're old enough, that's when you can incorporate reality. On the other hand, I can see the critical thinking. Are you saying no, teaching your son from a young age or, hey, you know, it's like explaining to him the principle behind it, okay, but also not lying to him. So like, again, saying that a time of joy, blah, blah, and that's what he's supposed to symbolize. But hey, you're smart enough. You can know the truth. Okay, that's it's dad on the roof, not Santa. So you're saying that those are the two perspectives and in any other aspect of my parenting there? The second example there is probably how I'd approach it, but this is the exception. Like we are full on hundred percent. Santa is real. It's magic, it's joy, it's fun. I verbatim what you describe there, right? The world is such a harsh and ugly place sometimes. Why not have a little bit of fun and magic? We do that with the tooth fairy, with the Easter Bunny by kids 13. He knows damn well there's no such thing, but he's playing along because it's just the fun thing that we've done in our household his whole life. So I don't believe or agree with what that first video was saying, that it teaches them how to lie. No, it doesn't. There's what you're showing them is that there is nuance in the world and there's fun and there's magic and there's pretend. And then there's a lie, which is a completely different thing. And secondly, I don't I don't know what study he was citing, but I don't agree that children don't inherently lie. It is adult developmentally appropriate for them to lie. In fact, that's how they test the waters and learn about the world around them. So that that's completely false. Yes. And by the way, you know, the funny thing is, when you asked that question, because I didn't expect it, I could have stepped back and said, wait a second, we've had this discussion about it, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I was joking around. So, yeah, he knows already. He's just he's playing you along, you know, like. That's right. You're right. We did. Yeah. He doesn't want. Yeah, he's doing this for mom and Dad to feel all upset, so he's, he's maintained the lie for your sake. So. Yeah, so we did. But in the moment, I panicked, so I didn't think about that. But, yeah, when I saw that video about that, you know, kids don't inherently like. Yeah, like, tell me where That's ridiculous. Completely false. Yeah. Okay. And, and again and the funny thing is that with whether the tooth fairy or Santa Claus or whatever, right. Again, most kids, when they do discover it, they, you know, some kids will go to the parents and ask them, you know, I heard from that school or whatever. And other kids, they're like, you know, either because it's the joy and everything like that or why? Why ruin a good thing? I'm getting money for doing nothing.-20 bucks a tooth. He's not telling me he doesn't believe it. Exactly. So, you know, and that's isn't true because they have that ability. And what the second person was talking about and I think we may have talked about this before, I don't I know I lecture about this. There's assimilation and accommodation. And Jean-Pierre had talked about that. And just for people who don't know. So when you have a certain when kids have a certain belief like Santa Claus is real, even if slightly contradictory information comes in, like, you know, I always give an example like, wait, why are there two different Santa Claus there? Why is Santa Claus a woman or whatever? Okay. They assimilate, though, that that evidence and information into their existing belief structure so they maintain it. Then at certain stage they either when the evidence is too much or their cognitive processing advances enough, then they accommodate their views and beliefs to reflect the reality that they're being exposed to. So that's kind of what she was describing, the assimilation and accommodation process. And so if a kid ever came to a parent and said, I can't believe you lied about Santa Claus or whatever, right, then a parent can easily say, you know, yes, we were we you know, we weren't lying. Okay. Because they want to distinguish between lying, you know, and, you know, and this is creating a myth, an illusion of fun or whatever. And as long as they say no, if any parent just says that and dismisses them, No, no, we weren't lying. We just did this because whatever without explaining. But wait, wait. We know we did tell a mistruth and everything like that, but that's very different than a self-serving lies or the right. That is the difference. And it is almost like a kind of white lie, you know, that you're doing for someone else's benefit. And maybe I'm saying this because it's just occurring more on social media, but I feel like this is a new trend with this generation of parents. I don't remember this ever being a thing before, but people in our circle and, you know, tangentially in our circles, this has been a debate since our kids were little of like, how can you lie like that? And I just I've never really understood it because I think for generations before, this is just what you did, because it's fun with your two older girls. Was this the case or how what was it like in the parenting landscape then? I don't even remember that. We didn't think about that at all. We just knew this was the same thing. This is fun, you know? And the same with Easter. You with Easter as well. I can't remember what age the kids were because we do this again at my mom's place and my mom just being such a loving nanna. Okay, But also being kind of like wanted to be in control when the kids were like it was so far off the mark for the Easter egg that they're looking for. She was sort of saying things to the heavens like mom, just like, okay, so, you know, or there was a scene with stockings and everything like that. She would say things like, I see the kids, like wondering, how does she know this? Much like this. Mary Silver believing in Santa Claus. So we would always try to make up a little story right then and there. So, you know, again, we never thought like, my gosh, lying to them, whatever. All I saw was the joy in their eyes, the fun. And even when they knew that, you know, this is not there's no real Santa Claus or Easter Bunny or whatever, watching them still engage in that behavior. And they weren't even faking it like they knew at that time. It's just that, hey, we're going to get a bunch of money or chocolates or whatever, and it's just fun. So, yeah, so rare is the person. And there will there will be some people and, you know, I'm not trying to say I want to be careful here, but let's just say let's say someone who is neurodivergent, they might react differently. Sure. To finding out because they take things more literally. Maybe so. Right. So it's up to the parent to have the discussion. And but never and it's so important if the child is really perceptive or bright, even if they take umbrage at being lied to, don't dismiss it as, you know, whatever, hear them out, meet them at their level and slowly, you know, help them understand why you did it. And it once again, it's not just why you did it, but you have to distinguish between that and, you know, other falsehoods, self-serving falsehoods, that kind of thing. Yeah. And, you know, I think doing so in an age appropriate manner is is very important, too. So if my 13 year old were to feel like, okay, mom and dad, let's let's talk about this, obviously we would have a very, you know, blunt and clear conversation. However, when he was four, I'm pretty sure he figured this out. But at the age of four, he came to us and said, mom and dad is Santa real? And our response was, well, what do you think? And then he gave us what he thought, and we just smiled and nodded and went about our day. I don't think that was a lie. That was more so in the spirit of preserving the magic. And at the age of four, I think that was developmentally appropriate. And I'm sure people would disagree. But I think it's really important to consider how old they are when having that conversation as well. Exactly. Yeah. So that 100% and once again, I'm you know, I don't think that we can you can't over emphasize the need for children to have a little bit of magic in their lives. Right. Especially for kids who, you know, maybe there's not that much good going there like, you know, having that something to look forward to. Yeah. And again, we don't want to go to the other side where it's just become pure materialism and entitlement and so on. So as always, you know, we're talking about balance, we're talking about nuance, we're not talking about extremes. And yeah, and so I've got nothing wrong with this. And this is coming from someone who shouldn't even be celebrating Christmas at all. Okay. But but, you know, I've always I always loved that time of year for my kids. So ironically, when I was a kid, for whatever reason, I forget how many years, but it was almost every year. And I remember my my parents say this as well. I would always get like deathly sick around Christmas. I come home and all my pictures, the pictures you see me just looking at pictures so like terrible, you know, with these presents where we didn't have that many presents, we had quite a few. But again, it was just so but, you know, so I didn't have this magical whole time over here that I can remember, but then again, seeing my kids, you know, and again looking going to Nana’s and everything like that, I just really, you know, that's that brings me joy. You know, there's a bit of selfishness in that. I want my kids to have a good time. Yeah. So interestingly, I thought we would be on a different page with the Santa thing, but I guess we agree. Yeah, I mean, yes. So I don't know why you think I'm such a month. I don't think. Well, no, because. Similar to what your second thought was about, the critical thinking, I assume that you leaned more in that direction. But yeah, not to say that we have all the answers here, but if too, like kind of stodgy, critical thinkers can give in to the magic here, I, I don't know. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. No, except to burst your bubble, there will be the people saying, Well, how about everyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas? Right? So how dare we now talk about this, you know, this whole thing and well, you know what? Everything we're saying applies to whatever, you know, beliefs or celebrations and rituals that you have in your own culture or religion or society. Right. And unpopular opinion. So my parents were immigrants to Canada. And, you know, celebrating Christmas in the North American way is not what they were brought up with. My mom went to Catholic school, so she obviously had a good idea about like Christmas and the traditions and so on and so forth. But as and I'm using the term differently here, but as a way of assimilating us into the culture and, you know, feeling included in these customs and traditions, they did all of that, right? So even though it wasn't something that was it and I'm not saying that everybody should do it and everyone should assimilate. That's not you know, let's not take out of context what I'm saying. But even for those who don't, I think there is something to be said about engaging in the cultural customs, whether you believe in Santa or not, that is one of the cultural customs here. I don't know. Yeah, that will be an unpopular thought among some. Right. And, and you know, and the fact is they've gone a lot of people have gone in the opposite direction and saying well because some people don't do that instead of saying maybe you can assimilate into this, you know the predominant culture and the ways of doing, they say no, because some people don't do that. We should make sure that, you know, nobody celebrates Christmas. You don't say merry Christmas. And it's funny because all my patients, when they look at me, they go, Happy holidays. I go, Merry Christmas. Same. But right. It's totally okay to say that. No, they don't celebrate that if there's something for us. Yeah, yeah. But I see them and they look, I think. There's that tentativeness of like, I'm just guessing happy holidays and I say Merry Christmas back. As a totally fine to see that. Right. And and the funny thing is just a little rant here that the same people who say no you can't celebrate Christmas, you can't say anything about that, no red and white, you're going to band those colors. I'm exaggerating a bit, but they are the first ones who are going to talk about every other culture or religions celebrations. Just not the West, right? Yeah, it's bizarre. Yeah, that's just all virtual virtue signaling that I have no time for to get by saying that I'm not being an empathetic to more people who might feel a bit excluded or a bit left out. But, you know, yeah, so I understand that. But again, they'll have their own time and they'll have their own celebrations and everything like that. And I hope that they can, you know, just take this as especially when they get a bit older. So, yeah, you know, that doesn't stop me from going to see my friends or, know, having fun with them and everything like that. So it's funny because, you know, my father passed away a couple of months ago and I received a card, sympathy card, and it was from my mom's former business, partly just on the because the business is longer there. But her business partners, oldest daughter, she wrote to me and, you know, you know, saying, you know, condolences and everything. And she wrote a story that is and I told her I told her I said, this is law in the Amata household, which was our first Christmas, because, you know, my dad came from Israel and he was he was not religious at all and not into these traditions and everything like that. So he and my mom went out and so her business partners, two daughters, were looking after my brother and I, and they were about at least five and eight, I think five and eight years older than me. So, you know, so they were probably, I think five, maybe four or five years old and so like nine, 13 or something. Anyway. And they went out, they took us and they said, this is Christmas. There was nothing in our house. So they went out, got a little Christmas tree, and they made homemade decorations with us and they got everything they could. These are like this. A teen and her younger sister, right? How beautiful. And then they put it up and everything like that and they saw that we were so excited and everything. And then she said, But then they're like, my God, you know, how's the how's their father going to react? They weren't we want my mom back. They were. They were were they going to, like, have a tantrum, you know, and just go crazy? And so they were going to take it down, but they took a chance. And, you know, my mom and dad reacted well. And that's how our Christmas started in our family. That's so cool of them. Yeah. So I told them that. So just reading that a couple of months ago, like a couple weeks ago when I got the card, it was very beautiful to remember that. So. yeah. So that's our that's, that's how Santa Claus came to our house in the guise of two young girls. That's so cute. That's awesome. That's my holiday miracle. So. Yes. Well, I'm curious what our listeners experiences are with Santa do and really all the things that we've talked about. But I think like the hot button topic here is, is Santa and whether or not it's a lie or not a lie. So I'm curious what our listeners think about that. And of course, we always want your comments on the rest of the topics that we discussed today as well. And again, a reminder to go back on last year's video and watch the tools and strategies that we shared there. We'll link that video and this one as well. Okay. Yes. And on that ho, ho, ho happy note. I tried. Until next time, keep your eyes on the road and your hands upon the wheel.